Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
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