He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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