forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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