Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The uberlube is also flammable
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
