I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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