I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
