"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.