you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.