around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n