I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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