Me too!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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