Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
please come you make the beer taste better
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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