Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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