just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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