I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
