my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
