I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
