she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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