he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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