I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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