I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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