8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
