the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
