Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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