People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
