So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
