I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How does one acquire holy water?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
