It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
