thus making me awesome and them whores
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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