I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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