Cold hands, warm shart.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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