I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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