Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
