So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
