Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
