Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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