As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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