quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
