Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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