So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
