Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
