great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sober January is a disaster.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
