you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
