i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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