Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
