Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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