The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
im calling her cock vulture from now on
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
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I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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