The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
