Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
