just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
