you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do vagina's smell?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
