I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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