Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
BRING THE BAGELS
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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