I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The air taste purple.
Randomize
