From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
