He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
