I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
