what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
