Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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