I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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