This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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