The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
