At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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