I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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