omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
